Thursday, April 30, 2009

In a Toronto minute

While coming home from grocery shopping in a taxi today, the following events took place, within about two minutes time.

Background: we live in Chinatown on an odd little street, known by few. Accessing our street by car is a complicated production. One entry point is a narrow laneway that meets Dundas street, situated between two banks, and it's a favourite spot to hang around in your car to wait for shopping friends and family, perhaps read the paper or even to take a nap.

So, my taxi pulls up the corner to make the turn into the laneway and of course, there is a minivan sitting there. The taxi driver honks, we wait, and the driver honks again.

Then, two twenty-something guys, who were obviously high, come up to the taxi and one of them starts to open my door. I say "hi!" through my window and one guy says "hi!" And this conversation ensues:

Me: "What are you doing?"

Stoned guy #1: "We're going to the Eaton Centre!"

Me: "Well I am going home with my groceries!"

Driver: "This is a customer!"

Stoned guy #1: "Oh...."

And he finally closes the door.

Meanwhile, the minivan is still sitting in the laneway, so we continue to wait. After a momment the driver honks his horn and OF COURSE the stoned guys think he is honking at them, they return to the car and try to open my door again. I say "NOT YOU!" and one of them says "oh..."

I ask the driver "can you unlock my door please?" and he asks "where are you going madam?" "I am going to move the minivan," I answer.

I exit the car and at this time the driver of the minivan unrolls his window so I call to him, "sir, you can not sit here, this is the only way to access a street."

And he yells, "I AM GOING OUT!"

So I yell back, "THEN GO OUT!"

He yells, "I CAN'T! IT IS TOO BUSY!"

(Oh, side notes: it is raining, and by this time my hair has reverted back to it's preferred bushy-poodle-in-a-hurricane-like state. Also, it is always busy in Chinatown.)

I am at his window now and I say, "then you have to back up."

And he yells, in my face, "WHY SHOULD I BACK UP FOR YOU?"

So I say, in a tone that could freeze hell, "because I &*!$^*#$ing said so."

And he replies "oh..."

I return to my taxi, and Mr. Mad Minivan turns out into the street.

My taxi driver says "otherwise, it's been a very quiet day."

When I told this story to my husband he said (you guessed it), "you need a blog."


  1. Michelle, my friend, you have such a talent for a) finding the humour in life and b) recounting the tales of your exploits in a very funny manner. Lord, I miss our conversations we used to have at the office!...Carolyn

  2. Haha, thanks guys. Glad you enjoyed my first post. Stay tuned, I'm sure there will be more. My sister has reminded me of some past incidents, I will post these when I have a dry spell of freakiness.

    And Carolyn, I miss you too.